15 Hours

15 hours crammed in a van full of his best buds. 15 hours of memories and laughter. 15 hours of mourning.

I cannot imagine how people go through loss without hope.

There are days I fall into that trap of lies. Today was one of them.
A certain person is crabbing at me to take care of something that I do not feel is my responsibility. A group breaks a lamp at the house and drama that I cannot handle rises. I do not feel like finishing this assignment or going to your class to hear your lecture today. I just want to tell everyone to bug off - he's gone. None of this matters. I feel unable to move. Unwilling to try. Getting out of bed is an impossible feat. Sleeping away hours much more plausible. Giving up acceptable.

I remember this is the path of those without hope. I remember the stories of his life. I remember our joy in repeating old stories. I remember what we live for. I remember: "The truth is, it's just for a short time." I remember we'll laugh together soon.

15 hours in a van comes back to me.