The latest dart that Satan has thrown my way is a new kind of comparison; a deeper level of envy. I work with the perfect couple: always teasing happily, throwing big surprises for one another, talking joyously. Everyone admires them and wants to be them. People invite them over for couple dinners. The kids dream of their future babies. Everyone is involved.

I want to be the one that people want to be.

I question what is wrong with my relationships, seeing what needs to happen so that I can "measure up." I decide, well - I'll never make mine work like theirs because I'm not her. I'm never going to be as perfect as her. If I can't ever be that, then am I at least satisfied with what I am, what my relationships look like.

I don't know.